When moments of frustration come, it’s difficult to think clearly.
Then, as the fear of fallout balloons, we begin to look for the fastest solution. To hunt down The One Fast Solution that will magically make the layered and difficult problem before us go away. But when we devote our energy to making choices that help us “get past this issue” as quickly as possible, we steal the chance to expand our understanding about what’s actually happening right out from under our feet.
In the workplace, we hold high-level meetings to “deal with the problem” without taking time to listen to multiple team members first.
In close relationships, we walk around the house, having one-sided, rage-filled conversations with ourselves about how life would be so much better, “if they could just get it together.”
In friendships, we run around, gossiping to other members of our friend group, because “we’re just so concerned” about what our friend is doing that “we’ve got to tell someone” and come up with a solution for how we’re going to “fix the problem.”
And with ourselves, stay busy, avoid the quiet, and run from stillness so we can justify ignoring our own heart and keep playing the comparison game.
But what if clarity doesn’t come from “just getting past it?” Maybe the pain is calling us to go through. To do the unpredictable work of learning how to create what is good rather than settling for what seems simple. Issues we “just get past” turn into breathing sepulchers, draining our energy and stealing our attention. The issues we slowly and steadily move through become irreplaceable experiences we transform into gentle dynamite as we slowly blaze a path onward.