There are days when it’s difficult not to judge ourselves for having feelings. It can be hard to push past the sense that productivity demands efficiency and efficiency must mean pushing feelings to the side. But perhaps feeling is part of how we learn to create the productivity we crave:
I am intimately familiar with the impulse to pretend feelings don’t matter. Feelings are fluffy things that only people with the luxury of extra time spend time thinking about. Feeling isn’t my favorite go-to when I’m presented with a challenge. Avoiding feeling and conjuring up a brilliant solution seems way more enjoyable. But when I avoid feeling and stay hyper-focused on doing, I avoid listening, which means I avoid discovering the lessons I need to learn; lessons that transform impossible conversation about race into opportunities to create dialogue that reduces combat and promotes learning.
Having feelings doesn’t mean we’re not strong, capable, or prepared.
Giving ourselves permission to feel is part of how we stay in the process of learning, growing, and discovering the lessons hiding throughout our everyday experiences.
So if you’re tempted to judge yourself for feeling today, consider giving yourself and your feelings permission to exist - as is.